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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 5, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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>> i'm ama daetz. lea >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- eric stonestreet. from "the night of," riz ahmed. lena dunham. and music from cold war kids.l g to chase every squirrel? [ laughter ] [ applause ] it's not just the poll, even isis is piling on. a spokesman for isis, which that's what you get when you major in communications by the way, you become a spokes whatn for isis. [ laughter ] released a statement yesterday saying america is drowning, we're bankrupt, and we're being run by an idiot. you hate to agree with anything isis says. but i don't know, maybe we are being run by an idiot, maybe we are drown and bankrupt. but i want to be very clear, if we are those things you guys in isis had nothing to do with that. we chose this bankrupt idiot to drown us ourselves.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] don't try to take credit for it, it's our thing. you might not have been aware but monday was send your son-in-law to iraq day. [ laughter ] president trump send his daughter's husband jared kushner to baghdad to meet with the iraqi prime minister and the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. the military posted a bunch of photographs of jared's spring break. i found them on flickr last night. i was looking around, so tickled by them, i wanted to share them with you. there's jared. he's the one on the left. with general joseph dunford of the marines. this is the face you make when you have no idea what the people around you are talking about but you don't want to look stupid so you do a lot of nodding. here he is from another angle. you can see it's like a military-theme bar mitzvah. [ laughter ] why didn't anyone tell me to wear camo? i would have worn camo.
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i guess they were worried jared wouldn't be able to sit through an entire meeting, as you see they gave him some juice and a coloring book. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] brought jared to life, did an amazing job. in between meetings jared found time to write a letter home to his boss/father-in-law. donald trump doesn't like reading so jared fair ritted it to him. we got a hold of it. another leak. this is an abc news exclusive and i am excited to share it with you now. >> dear dad-in-law. here i am in iraq. look at me with the head moustache guy. i can't believe it's only been one day since i was back in the oval office trying to convince you not to retweet that joke about kim jong-un's man boobs. it's so hot here. i sure am glad i wore my summer the blazer. here i am thanking our troops for their service that i never considered doing in a bajillion
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years. here i am looking over real military plans, so awesome. i told the generals about your idea of using the element of surprise, boy did they seem impress. how bad-ass i look in this flack jacket, i totally want one. i've got to go, the generals are working on their plans and i'm sure they'll want my input. see you this weekend for the big meeting with china, i can't wait. love jer-bear. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's sweet. i like that they're close. we can be pretty hard on donald trump. they have a guy in new zealand, the prime minister of new zealand, a gentleman named bill english who i think is even worse. i'm going to show you why. on tuesday night, this is what he posted on facebook. he wrote, cooked dinner for the family last night, like if you agree with tinned spaghetti on pizza. i don't know if you can see that, but tinned spaghetti is canned spaghetti. not only did he put it on a pizza, he put on it a pineapple pizza. canned spaghetti and pineapples
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on a pizza. this mother -- can i say the f-word? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] no? not even one time? that is so offensive. that is an act of war. i mean, i think -- i think he just declared war on italy. and maybe hawaii too, i don't know. impeach that man immediately, new zealand. this is why i've always preferred old zealand. it is true. meanwhile, i will assume by now that you've seen or at least heard about that pepsi commercial with kendall jenner. if you haven't it's worth seeing. it's absolutely nuts. the fact that this somehow made it through i can't imagine how many meetings and edits and pitches and got the thumbs-up from who knows how many people are absolutely mind-boggling. pepsi was trending on twitter. i was like, oh my god, pepsi died. [ laughter ] turned out i was right, it did. this commercial, it's quite a concept. basically kendall jenner is posing for a photo, a photo shoot, then a protest march
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happens. a hip-looking protest march happens by. and ultimately she joins it and brings everyone together. she ends racism by handing a pepsi to a police officer. and then everyone dances away. it's so great. it is so ill advised. i've watched it 27 times now. i still -- i can't figure out what the protesters are supposed to be protesting. i don't want to go through the whole yesterday i don't but i want to go through, we grabbed some stills. this says, join the "o" conversation. what the hell is that? is that an irish conversation? maybe something to do with oprah? i don't know. there are a lot of peace signs, lots and lots of peace signs all of which happen to be the same color as the pepsi logo. one of the protesters has a cello. [ laughter ] you know, you can't have a protest march without a cello. none of it makes any sense. today pepsi pulled the ad and apologized. they apologized to kendall jenner.
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sorry we paid you $3 million to be in the worst commercial ever, kendall jenner. everyone was so mad. the only people who weren't mad? the people at coke weren't mad, they loved it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it was the best coke commercial in years. and whoever came up with this ad for nivea, which they just pulled this print ad. see? immediately you guys knew this shouldn't have been published. put that up again. it says, "white is purity squoochlt." anyone see anything wrong with this slogan? not at all? looks good to go in okay. everyone is dumb. here's something i've not seen before. this is from yesterday's baseball game between cardinals and cubs. keep an eye on the batter. a guy named steven piscotti. >> he's hit by the pitch. the ball gets away. piscotti to second and he's hit
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again. a little chopper slowly hit, right side. the ball gets away. here comes piscotti. he is safe. as the ball hit him in the head, maybe the face. >> jimmy: what's going on? [ applause ] poor guy. he got hit more times than ronda rousey on that one -- i don't think -- i've never seen anything like this before. i think it was a first. so afterwards the reporters obviously were eager to get steven's thoughts. >> it's just a fluke thing. getting hit in the head like that? i guess you just play enough games, something like that's going to happen -- ah! >> jimmy: that almost seemed intentional. we have to take a break. when we come back from that break, if you watch the show "girls" or even if you don't you're going to like what we have when we return, stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: eric stonestreet, riz ahead, and music from cold war kids is happening. first, if you haven't watched the final season of "girls" on hbo, you're missing out. my wife and i love it, we never miss it. finale of the show, the series finale, is april 16th. i'm sad to go. we watch every sunday night. it's become a tradition for us. i hate to -- oh, hey, look at this. [ cheers and applause ] hi, lena. how are you? what a surprise this is. i had no idea. you were back there waiting in the wings for my cue. >> yeah, well, i have some
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really good news for you. >> jimmy: lena dunham, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] what is the good news? >> well, the fact is that "girls" is not going away forever. >> jimmy: oh, it's not? that's great. what do you have planned? >> we came here specifically to announce that we are going to be doing a reunion special. >> jimmy: already? [ cheers and applause ] that's weird. because you haven't actually finished the show and you're already doing a reunion special? when will that air? >> that is going to be airing in april. 2067. >> jimmy: oh, wait, like in 50 years? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh. what if i'm not alive then? i had fried chicken two days this week, i don't think i'm going to make it. >> you will be alive. >> jimmy: how do you know i'm going to be alive? >> i know because i have proof. i brought a clip. >> jimmy: you brought a clip of "girls" from 50 years from now? oh my goodness. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i'm able to bring a clip from the future because i'm incredibly talented. and i hope that the emmys finally recognize that. >> jimmy: i hope so too. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's just a problem with all these [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: i know, i hate them. >> i hate them. >> jimmy: should we watch it? or call it a night and go home? >> i think we should watch it. we worked really hard on it. >> jimmy: sure, here we go. ♪ and if you threw a party invited everyone you knew noochlt ♪ you would see the biggest gift would be from me ♪ ♪ and the card attached would say thank you for being a friend ♪ ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> i believe i purchased everything. >> this is all just cigarettes. where's everything on the list i gave you? >> i nodded out in the dairy aisle. >> i still don't understand like why you think it's okay to be on recreational morphine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> it means so much to me that you guys are throwing me this 63rd birthday/divorce/knee surgery party. >> you're 77 years old. you've been married eight types and you're having knee surgery in and around your face. [ laughter ]
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>> let's get this party started! [ cheers and applause ] okay, quhr we going to wrap this up? i need to be in bed by 5:00. by 5:30 i'm going to be dreaming of tom hardy licking pudding off his dentures. >> it's 5:00 now. >> then to all a good night. >> get back here. >> can i just say? i love being able to celebrate with all of my closest friends. and jessa. which dress do you like better? >> definitely the sleeveless, it's so modern yet classic. >> she can't wear the sleeveless, the skin in her pits is dragging labia before it discovered coconut oil, which by the way really does do everything. >> that was supposed to an secret. i am completely humiliated. you may have finally done it, young lady. >> okay, come on, give it up,
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you slag. >> oh, all right. okay. you guys know arnaz? >> oh, yeah, he's that some-hip 90-year-old that plays experimental mandolin on bingo night. >> we were working on music last night and -- we hit it. >> hit it? that is something -- am i supposed to know what that means? >> you're daft, that's when a man makes love to your armpits. >> eww! >> it's a burgeoning trend in senior living, i wrote a piece for the newsletter word is herpes in the tennis club was literally fiery. >> it's amazing you had a test case right here in the house. >> it is not my fault. he told me it was bedsores. who was i to object? >> it's okay, honey. frankly i'm surprised it took you to long to get it. herpes so is bake. >> we all got it, front and
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back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what? i'm just going to wear the damn sleeveless dress. especially if it's just the four of us. >> actually, there is one more person coming. oh, that's the stripper. >> stripper? you have got to be joking. >> they prefer to be called sensuality artists. stripper is not a very -- >> door's open! >> hannah, what are you doing? >> what, i got of uti, wet diaper, i'm airing it out. >> can you do that somewhere necessarily. >> excuse me for living out loud. >> hello, ladies. [ cheers and applause ] sausages here and you're all under -- mom? >> hampton? >> mom, when i'm working it's officer sausage. >> oh, yeah, he totally has your
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butt. >> has everyone fully forgotten it's my birthday? hello, handsome. >> hi. >> well. i'm going to eat this whole cheesecake in hopes i fall into a diabetic coma so i can forget my son just came over to show me his member. cheesecake, take the wheel. >> hey, flat dumpsters. i've got ensure and ecstasy, who wants to party till we crap ourselves? >> i'm not falling for that again. >> officer sausage? >> is nobody else bothered by the fact that elijah hasn't aged even a little? >> i told you bitches, it's i'll of olay and boxed wine, did any of you even try it? >> listen. i paid for a stripper to chop chop at the dance, sonny. >> i'll toss in an extra 100 for the armpit stuff.
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>> i can't. i can't. i've fallen. life alert? >> yeah! >> i've fallen, i'm completely overwhelmed, if someone could make contact with my parents? ♪ ♪ >> 80 is the best! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, lena. lena dunham, everyone. the best. watch the final episode of "girls" this sunday, and next sunday on hbo. we have cold war kids, riz ah d ahmed, and eric stonestreet, be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by: new flonase sensimist allergy relief.
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learn how to be greater than your allergies with the eh bee family at begreater.flonase.com. ♪ you might not ever just stand there, looking at it. you may never even sit in the back seat. yeah, but maybe you should. ♪ (laughter) ♪ ♪ i wanna rock right now ♪ i'm lil yachty and i'm down, if you're down ♪ ♪ i'm not the most lyrical kid known ♪ ♪ yet i'm known to keep the party going ♪ ♪ now look what you made me do ♪ you and me baby it takes two ♪ bringing new moves to the old school ♪ ♪ 1, 2, 3 get loose now ♪ it takes two to make a thing go right ♪
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♪ 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 ♪ it takes two to make it outta sight ♪ busibusinessman 1: yea, yea, yea...you know what i'ml craving right now? businessman 1: (over speaker) --guacamole and bacon.
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audio tech: we got a craving! go go go!!! music: crashing cravings in the crave van. jack's gonna crash your crave! jack: hey guys, try my guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich with all white meat chicken, guacamole and pepperjack cheese. businessman 1: thanks jack.... wait. we're on the 18th floor. how did you get here? jack: hard work. jack vo: you crave it, we serve it. try my new guacamole and bacon chicken sandwich. music: crave van!
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um yeah, i love coming up here.
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because it is beautiful. and uh, it helps put things into perspective, you know? from my point of view, a big thing is the gasoline that i use. i find it pretty reassuring to know that no other gas can beat the cleaning i get from chevron with techron. it's engine cleaning that you really can't top. no gasoline cleans better than chevron with techron. care for your car. i'm sorry. am i in your spot? >> jimmy: welcome back. look at that dirty floor.
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tonight he is the star of "the night of" on hbo. he is also the one who knocked hannah up on "girls." the multi-talented riz ahmed is here. then, their new album comes out friday. it's called "l.a. divine," cold war kids from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. tomorrow night we have a great show tomorrow. tomorrow night adam sandler, nathalie emmanuel, whom you know from "game of thrones," and we'll have music from starley. please join us for that. our first guest tonight is the two-time emmy-winning actor and hero to clowns around the world. starting friday night he serves as host of a new show called "the toy box." from "modern family," please welcome eric stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: you look very fit. >> it's the jacket. >> jimmy: i hear your mother is here tonight. >> she is here, she's backstage. >> jimmy: did she get you that jacket? >> yeah, she got it for me in '86. >> jimmy: she's from kansas city? >> kansas city. >> yeah! >> okay, take it easy. >> jimmy: is she at the bar? >> she went to the bar yeah. she likes a drink. >> jimmy: she does? has it always been that way for mom? >> yeah. it has. i mean, she had -- we went to costa vega last night, we had a corona. >> jimmy: a restaurant everyone loves here in the valley. i remember one time at a wedding reception she got a little -- a little crazy at the wedding reception had to pick her up. that was in high school. i went to drunk drive my mom. and she got in the car and i'm like, i cannot believe how drunk you are. and she's like, oh shut up. and she spit ice at me. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> and i have never let her forget it. oh, you mean like the time you spit ice at me? >> jimmy: you have a little sense what it's like to be an
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uber driver in a way. >> yeah, i was driving my mom's white mercury marquis driving her home. >> jimmy: you were kind enough to bring an article that i love so much. even laminate which had we really do appreciate. this is you as a little boy. how old are you in this photograph? >> i'm like fourth grade going into fifth. >> jimmy: that's you, this is your attacker? [ laughter ] oh, wait -- >> not appropriate, not appropriate. i'm trying to change the conversation about clowns. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is you in your clown makeup. which is -- it's almost disturbing. >> well,. >> jimmy: duty too, i'm sure cute in real life. how did you get in the paper? >> i was famous back in kansas city. no, i wanted to be a clown and i would do kids' birthday parties. i was in 4h. at the county fair
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thing where you would do clowning. that was at one of those things and the paper found out about it and came and interviewed me. you can read the whole article. i wanted to join the circus at that age. >> jimmy: you also do magic, you did a magic trick last time. ri >> i did a basic magic trick. last time i was here, i did a basic magic trick, what i used to do when i was a waiter at applebee's in manhattan, kansas. it seemed to go well. >> jimmy: i like that sort of thing. >> i thought if you don't mind, if you don't care, i'd like to do another magic trick. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy, i think you've got an aluminum foil ball? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, okay. >> this is a simple basic little trick. catch that, sir. hold that right there. >> jimmy: was that it? >> yeah, that's it, we're done, ta-da! [ cheers and applause ] just hold on to that. this is a simple trick you guys at home can do for your kids, for your family, at your office. this is a mind reading trick. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is really cool. so this week i e-mailed molly,
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your wife. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, no, what? >> no, i just e-mailed her. >> jimmy: okay, all right. i don't know where this is headed. >> i e-mailed her and asked her some of your favorite foods. jimmy, we have a lot in common. >> jimmy: we do, yeah. >> we love to eat. maybe me a little bit more. a tidge. but we have a passion for food. >> jimmy: we do. >> i knew some of your favorite foods but i was surprised by some of the other ones, like scrambles eggs and white truffle. orange julius, i love it too, brings back so many memories. sushi i knew. steak, pizza, all that kind of stuff. i wrote them down. you can see here. i just wrote a few things down. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, those are them. >> those are them, you can take a look at them. and i thought i would do a little mental trick. but not with you because we're both hollywood bigshots. >> right. >> and i thought, well, the audience and people at home will think jimmy and eric set it up.
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>> jimmy: that's not true, we did not set this up. >> we did not set this up. that's where you come in. i threw an aluminum foil ball into the audience. anyone could have caught it. you caught it. with your permission i'd like to talk to this lady. >> jimmy: go ahead, all right. [ cheers and applause ] microphone for her? >> hi. how are you? ma'am, did you know you were going to get this view? [ laughter ] i saw you on camera before you're like, i don't want to be on tv anymore, i'm done! >> jimmy: he's seen it before. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's a p.e. coach. >> you want me to move over here? tell me your first name. >> barbara. >> can i call you sharon? >> sure. >> thank you, sharon. so nice to meet you. sharon, where are you from? >> atlanta. >> atlanta. sharon, i spent a month in atlanta, i loved atlanta, it was hot as hell. what do they call it? hotlanta. ha ha!
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anyway. sharon, do you know this guy? >> yeah. >> you do? you do know him? so you're excluded because i don't want anyone at home, i don't want anyone, jimmy, anyone to think this is a setup. so sir, do you know this guy? >> no. >> great, what's your name? >> william. >> william, meet sharon. >> hi, sharon. >> say hi, how are you. listen, it's cool, she's okay. i'm going to give you this pad of jimmy's favorite foods. these are jimmy's favorite foods. you're going to put it in your hand. put it in your hand. hold it flat in your hand. you're going to open it with your thumb. just open it and look at the first thing you see and show these people. so that we have a good witness. i'm going to just look this way. go ahead and open it up. not to the first page because i don't want to see that. open it. there you go. got it? everybody have it? okay, great. thank you so much. >> close it? >> close it. we're done with that. now sharon, i need you to focus right here. are you a fan of "modern family"? thank you so much.
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[ cheers and applause ] share, right here, right here, sharon. my eyes are up here! stop looking here. all right, sharon. sharon, look right here. look right here. you need to focus. i'm going to read your mind. right now. jimmy's favorite foods. we've never met. i want you to think of the food in your mind. don't think of anything else. okay? this is great, wow. you're trying to trick me. i see what you're doing, i see what you're doing, it's so interesting. sharon? i want you to say any food that it's not on the count of three. one, two, three -- >> taco. >> taco, interesting. i love how you blinked when you said taco too. sharon, can i feel your hand? you don't have to give me that. can i feel your hand? it's so interesting. i feel like what you're doing is trying to trick me. you're thinking of something that's not a word. aren't you? you're thinking of a letter. you're thinking of two letters? are you thinking of two letters?
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are you thinking of three letters? sharon? is it -- is it bbq? >> yes. >> is it bbqment? you saw it? we've never met. [ cheers and applause ] now hold on i know what you're thinking. i know what you're thinking. i used to date her in high school before this guy came along. >> jimmy: you did? >> no, that's what you're thinking. >> jimmy: oh. >> it's a setup, this is hollywood, we can cast anyone we want. but notice guillermo has had a tray sitting over here the entire time. once i came out onto the stage that tray has not moved. guillermo, lift that cloth up and pull out what's underneath that clos. >> guillermo: banana cream pie. >> no, no! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i do like that. >> i told you -- what's also under there? barbecue ribs? >> guillermo: barbecue ribs!
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>> barbecue ribs, everyone. no, no put the cloth back on cover the cloth. cover it. jimmy, ladies and gentlemen, barbecue ribs! >> jimmy: wow, thank you. miraculous. eric stonestreet -- >> hold on. >> jimmy: what? >> i know what you're thinking. guillermo's in on it, the show's in on it, everybody's in on it. but i want you to stand up. everyone in the audience stand up right now. look under your seats, there's something taped there, show the cameras, show america -- ladies and gentlemen, barbecue ribs! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: eric? we still have another segment. >> sorry, i got coffee. eric stonestreet, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back.
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alright, how's this for a tv show. sous chef. lawyer by day, prep-cook by night. also, his name is sous. no. sloppy joseph. a middle-aged man who's trying to get his life together, but he can't - he's to sloppy. huhhh - no! here you go. i got this. i get cash back so it's like everything's on sale. with the blue cash everyday card from american express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. everything's on sale! a home shopping show takes place on a sailboat. that's the one! banana boat dessert on me. look at you being all lactose tolerant. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express.
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thit was shaping up to be a most miserable day. it's more than cash back. ♪ but then, destiny struck. did may imagine april showers bringing her fashionable, flowers at such a sunny price? never but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. marshalls. your surprise is waiting.
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>> jimmy: there they are, they're all there. leg weanie and clams are, it taliban ice, it's like you read my mind too. >> yeah, thanks. >> jimmy: i want to mention your
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show, "the toy box." which by the way is a strip club in florida. i don't know if you're aware of it. >> okay, no, but i am now. >> jimmy: okay, but yours is not that. >> no. >> jimmy: tell us about the show. >> yeah, so it's a competition where toy inventors come in and pitch their toy. to some mentors. you know, they're there for safety. then they come into the toy box and kids, four kids, decide which toy is going to win the whole show. >> jimmy: these are real kids? >> these are real kids that are just there to decide if the toy's fun and good and worthy of mattel, the great toy company, to make. we shot this last summer. and i know what toy won. mattel's been making the toy so when the show ends, there's eight episodes, seven and a finale. then you can go on toysareus.com and get the toy. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> takes it a step further. i love working with kids and watching them crush adults'
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dreams. >> the kids reject adults? >> absolutely, and they were upset. i'm going, ha ha ha! i'm the kid in the room. some toys walk in -- >> jimmy: you have to have bad ideas. >> right. >> jimmy: right. >> you know you're bad when they hear them but they don't know. >> jimmy: wow. >> sometimes see they spend test of thousands of dollars, 30 years working on this toy, then noah's going to be like, i don't like this boy! >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> you watch the people go -- >> jimmy: yeah. well, so if you want to see children crush the dreams of adults, the show is "the toy box." friday night, 8:00 here on abc. eric stonestreet, everybody! we'll be right back with riz ahmed. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so this year, they're getting a whole lot more. box 365, the calendar. everyone knows my paperless, safe driver,
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>> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. cold war kids on the way. our next guest is a golden globe nominated actor and half of a successful rap duo, just like amy adams.
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you can see him on "girls" and "the night of," which is available now on hbo. please welcome riz ahmed. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. last time you were here with the whole cast of "rogue one." >> yeah. >> jimmy: at the time it was one of those interviews where everybody wanted to know what was going on in the movie, you couldn't say anything about what was going on in the movie, whether there would be another movie, because it turned out you all died in the movie. >> yeah, that would have been a bit of a spoiler. >> jimmy: it would have been a spoiler. maybe it was for somebody right now who hasn't seen it yet. >> yeah, sorry about that. >> jimmy: by the way, like "the night of." when was the finale of "the night of"? last year? >> awhile ago, i think it was out here over the summer. >> jimmy: do you feel now because it's still available and people get to these shows now when they want to get to them,
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do you feel like you have to keep things quiet? >> yeah it's weird, you can never talk about it ever. you can't talk about it. >> jimmy: how long do you wait before it's okay? i think a year is enough. >> i don't know if it's still okay. at the moment i still kind of sometimes walk down the street in l.a. or new york and suddenly someone will shout out, did you do it?" for me the show was a long time ago so there's a moment of confusion. i'm not sure what they're talking about. >> jimmy: that must be weird. you're also as i mentioned in a band. a duo. your rap name, which you have to have, right? you do kind of use your own name. is riz mc. >> my solo rap name is riz mc, which shows you how old i am, because no one uses mc at the
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end. >> jimmy: not since hammer, i think. we had ren, we had mc scat cat, of course you can't forget. >> is mc kimmel going to make a comeback? >> jimmy: mc kimmel is dead, shot in las vegas. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: riddled with bullets. but he's with us in spirit. >> myself that would be weird. it's a trio, actually. it's myself and a rapper heems from new york and a producer rohdino from london, called the sweatshop boys. >> jimmy: and you're playing at coachella where you'll actually be sweating. rub to or played coachella before? >> i passed through coachella once. it's different to uk festivals. >> right, they have those big festivals. how are they different? >> well, i mean -- gaston bury or uk festival, people are really going for it, super drunk, throwing up on each other, rainy, covered in mud. so they're amazing.
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[ laughter ] whereas like -- coachella's a bit more glamorous. a bit more chill. i think the worst thing that could happen is maybe like kendall jenner hands you a beverage. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, that could be -- that settles everyone down. yeah. >> yeah, let's be -- >> jimmy: that was some commercial. you got a golden globe nomination for "the night of." congratulations, by the way. [ cheers and applause ] the lawyer on the show is john t turturro. he's great in every single thing. did you know his work beforehand? >> yes, i've seen so much of his work. have you ever met him? >> have, yes. >> didn't he like the italian-american uncle you wish you had? >> jimmy: i am italian, so no. [ laughter ] >> oh, right. wait. well, he's just like -- he's the dude. he's just the most amazing guy. he took me under his wing.
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>> jimmy: what do you mean? >> he's got so much experience. i'm eager to learn from people who have got lots of experience. i was always asking him for advice. he's got a lot of advice but he kind of -- he puts it across in like a really interesting way. like -- all his advice is, he gives all his advice in metaphors about cooking, dancing, or sex. >> jimmy: really? okay. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: how? give me an example. >> john, i've got this really intense scene coming up, how do you do an intense scene? he'll be like, you know, when you're cooking meatballs, you just got to -- you're cooking meatballs you take the meatballs, leave them in the sauce, that's all. it takes a minute. then when you think about it, it's genius. it's true, soak up the scene, be there in the moment, and it makes sense. but sometimes it goes a bit too far as well. like, one day he was -- spoiler alert. he goes, what scene are you
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working on? tough scene, i've got to wake up next to the girl, she's dead, she's been stabbed like 50 times. and he goes, you know, when you're carving a turkey what you got to do is you got to -- [ applause ] get the right angle. >> jimmy: that's a very good imitation of him. has he heard you do him? >> yeah he's heard me, yeah. >> jimmy: and it's okay with him? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's uncle john for you. congratulations on all your success. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: if you haven't seen it, "the night of" is streaming on hbo. we won't ruin it for you. riz ahmed, everybody. be right back with cold war kids! >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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>> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to lena dunham and the cast of "girls," thanks to eric stonestreet, riz ahmed and apologize to matt
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damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first their new album "l.a. divine" comes out friday, here with the song "love is mystical," cold war kids! ♪ ♪ and when my heart won't break an empty space between my lungs ♪ ♪ and when my knees won't shake i'll drink to find inspiration ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm a red blooded man but i can't see behind the sun ♪ ♪ i can't see behind the sun a supernatural plan is coming to meet me now
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living life with no ♪ ♪ need for the brakes something happens when i lean on my mistakes love is mystical ♪ ♪ love will break the chains you might feel invincible and you might be afraid light in darkness will ♪ ♪ show you the way give you the power to believe again 'cause i'm a rational man ♪ ♪ and i can see how far i've come i can see how far i've come but i don't know where ♪ ♪ to stand or who's coming to meet me now living life with no need for the brakes ♪ ♪ something happens when i lean on my mistakes if the words are true and the words reveal the same ♪
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♪ i come alive when i don't even think love is mystical love will break the chains ♪ ♪ you might feel invincible and you might be afraid light in darkness will show you the way ♪ ♪ give you the power to believe again oh can't you hear the future is calling ♪ ♪ for heaven's sake it's either hell or high water let's get outta this place i feel your skeptical eyes ♪ ♪ on my mental state i lift my hands to the sky and i lower the stakes oh yeah ♪ ♪ and i lower the stakes oh yeah and i lower the stakes love is mystical ♪ ♪ do you feel the same love is irresistible
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it's calling out your name light in darkness will ♪ ♪ show you the way give you the power to believe again give you the power ♪ ♪ to believe again give you the power to believe again give you the power ♪ ♪ to believe again give you the power to believe again to believe again ♪ ♪ to believe again ♪ to believe again to believe again to believe again ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, labor pains. what every expecting parent is talking about. how to pay for their maternity or paternity leave. some parents to be now resorting to crowd funding. >> we realized that it was not going to be financially feasible for me to stay home for very long. >> raising thousands of dollars, but some say the government should pick up the tab. the debate raging at the highest offices. plus smart aleck. >> who here loves trump? >> the beloved baldwin spilling secrets about his famous "snl" impression. >> it's stressful to play him because it's not somebody i'm in love with. >> the part of his dark past that he's never talked about before. >> i describe overdosing on drugs, which i've kept ver

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